Rise Again
by RipleyBrennan
Summary: Following the plane crash, Arizona must learn to overcome her fear of flying. This story follows her on that journey. Calzona.
1. Salt Lake City

**A/N: This story is cannon through season 9, but the cheating didn't happen, neither did the separation. In my Calzona one shot, "Hard Way Home," Arizona talks briefly with Sofia about overcoming her fear of flying following the plane crash. This is an elaboration of that; it focuses on several moments over a period of several years following the plane crash, following Arizona's recovery in relation to her fear of flying. I'm planning four chapters—this is the first. Thanks for reading!**

"Callie, pull over. I want to drive," Arizona demanded shortly, not meeting her wife's eyes. Callie slowly looked over at her wife, bewilderment crossing her features, a single arched eyebrow communicating her incredulity at Arizona's request. "Um, I'm driving in the middle of a deserted highway at night. Do you really want me to pull over _right now_? Especially since just an hour ago, you wanted me to drive because your leg hurt."

Arizona rolled her eyes, scoffing at Callie in frustration as she crossed her arms over her chest and continued, "My leg _does_ hurt, but your driving makes me carsick, and I'd rather have a sore leg than puke all over the car. Wouldn't you?" Arizona snapped back, turning her focus back in front of her. Callie pursed her lips, taking in a deep breath to keep herself from shouting at her wife—it had been a long day for both of them and she didn't want to wake their toddler, who after hours of wailing had finally dozed off in the backseat.

"There's a little town coming up in 15 miles. We need to get gas anyway, so we'll stop there. Will you be okay until then?" Callie asked slowly, with as much patience as she could possibly muster. Arizona was silent for a moment, but responded with a curt nod and a noncommittal, "Mmhmm." Knowing that was nicest response she would be getting, Callie turned her attention back to the road in front of her, hoping to ride in relative peace until they were able to stop.

When they pulled into the gas station ten minutes later, Arizona immediately unbuckled her seat belt and climbed out of the car, leaning up against the sliding door of their minivan, grateful to be breathing in the cold fresh air. She closed her eyes and breathed slowly as her nausea began to subside.

After Callie pumped the gas, she walked around the car, spotting her wife breathing deeply, massaging her leg just above her prosthesis. A wave of sympathy rushed over her; sure, Arizona had been surly and cranky all day, but she was obviously miserable and in pain. Plus, Callie knew she was nervous about seeing her parents for the first time since they'd visited her in the hospital after the plane crash.

"Hey," Callie said gently, placing a hand on Arizona's shoulder. Her wife promptly shrugged her hand away, reaching over for the keys. "We should get moving. It's already late and we still have a few hours left." Keeping her fingers gripped tightly around the keys, Callie cautiously floated her new idea, "I was thinking maybe we should get a room here for the night. We're all exhausted, and you're clearly not feeling well. Plus, I'd be less nervous driving through some of this ice in the morning."

Arizona shook her head vehemently, "Callie, we told my parents we'd be there tonight. And we have chains on our car so we'll be fine."

But Callie wasn't about to relent so easily, "We can call your parents from the hotel room. Come on, Arizona. At this rate, we won't be there until after 10pm anyway. We'll barely get to see them tonight before going to bed—"

"Yeah, and the Colonel just _loves_ it when we change the plans," Arizona quipped back sarcastically, placing her hands on her hips in frustration.

Callie rolled he eyes with annoyance, "Well, since it was _the_ Colonel who insisted that _we_ come and visit _them_ , even when I kindly suggested that it _might_ be easier for them to come to us—"

"Callie, you know my dad's health hasn't been good. It's getting harder for him to travel—"

Callie actually laughed at remark, "Arizona, if you haven't noticed, it's harder for _you_ to travel as well."

Arizona crossed her arms defensively, "I've always gotten carsick. And everyone gets stiff on long drives—"

" _We're driving from Seattle to Salt Lake City because you won't get on a fucking plane!"_

They both stood in shocked silence, stunned that those words had actually left Callie's mouth. Through the car window, they heard Sofia waking up, beginning to whimper. Arizona looked away, her eyes now focused on her shoes. Callie felt a wave of guilt rush over her; it was a familiar guilt at this point. It had been so hard since the plane crash. And yes, things were getting better, but there were still plenty of moments like this. She knew Arizona had been through hell; she knew that her harsh demeanor was partly a symptom of depression and PTSD; she knew that Arizona picked fights when she was feeling especially vulnerable. Which was why she felt so guilty when she snapped back. She felt terrible that she couldn't be better, more patient and supportive.

"I'm sor—" Callie began, but Arizona cut her off. "You're right. It is my fault." Arizona mumbled. Seeing her wife's hurt made Callie feel even worse. She almost wished Arizona would go back to snapping at her. "I never said it was your _fault_ , it's just—"

"You don't have to sugar coat it. We've been in a car for over ten hours today because I'm too traumatized to get on a plane," Arizona provided coldly, "You're allowed to be angry about that." Though her voice was still cold and distant, Callie could see the effort her wife was making in her words. She knew Arizona was trying to leave space for her feelings too, to acknowledge that Callie was only human and unlimited patience wasn't a fair expectation.

Callie reached over, taking Arizona's hand tenderly in hers. She was encouraged when her wife didn't let go, "I'm not angry that you're not ready to fly yet. Babe, it's only been six months, you can take all the time you need. I shouldn't have blamed this… somewhat stressful day of travel on you and I'm sorry."

At that, Arizona smiled softly, "I mean, I have been a bitch all day. You _can_ blame some of this stress on me." She chuckled lightly before looking up at Callie, her eyes tentative but warm, "I'm sorry, too. I know I've been awful. It's just—"

"I know," answered Callie, taking Arizona into her arm and holding her close. They stood like that for a moment until they heard Sofia's whimpering grow louder from inside the car. Pulling away, Callie made her plea one last time, "So what do you say? Can we _please_ stay here tonight? We can have a pizza delivered to our room and watch a movie on demand and—"

Arizona leaned into her wife, pressing a kiss against Callie's lips, "Alright, Calliope. Let's head over to the hotel and get a room." She pulled away, taking the keys from Callie's hand and heading around to the driver's seat as her wife smiled in relief, "Thank you."

"But you're gonna have to let my dad know we changed the plan," she continued as she climbed into the car and turned the key in the ignition, "Because I sure as hell am not making that call." Callie laughed nervously as she buckled her seatbelt, "I suppose that's fair."


	2. Los Angeles

The longer they sat at their gate, waiting to board their plane, the more Callie's concern for her wife grew. Arizona was sitting beside her perfectly still, her hands clasped together tightly, her face growing paler by the second as she chewed on her lower lip, occasionally closing her eyes to take a deep breath, in an attempt to settle her nerves that were rapidly snowballing out of control.

It had been Arizona's idea to fly to LA. After almost a year since the plane crash, she had insisted that they both deserved a vacation, so she suggested they spend a couple weeks on the beach in sunny southern California. Callie had been meaning to go down that way to visit Addison for years, and Arizona decided that now was as good a time as ever to make that trip. Derek and Meredith had offered to watch Sofia so that the two of them could have some time to themselves, and while they were guilty about leaving their little girl for so long, Sofia was beyond excited to get to spend two weeks playing with her cousin Zola.

Callie had told her that the flight was unnecessary. They could drive to LA, or take a train, or go somewhere closer. But it was Arizona who had ultimately convinced her that flying was a good idea. It would be a short flight, a good chance for her to "get back on the horse." After all, it had been over a year. It was time that she got over her fear of flying. So, Callie had agreed; the way Arizona talked about it seemed so calm and well reasoned. Perhaps she really was ready to give it a try.

That, however, was a month ago. As their trip approached, Callie could sense her wife's anxiety building. This past week, Arizona had woken up from nightmares almost every night, and seemed to quickly change the subject every time Callie mentioned their travel plans. Callie had made the suggestion several times that maybe she wasn't quite ready yet, that it would be totally fine to put off this flight, but Arizona was persistent. She was ready; she had to do this.

The loud speaker notified them that their flight would be boarding shortly. Callie could feel her wife beginning to tremble next to her. She placed a hand on Arizona's knee, "Arizona—"

"Stop," Arizona responded shakily. "I can do this. I just need to concentrate on staying calm." Callie nodded, squeezing her wife's knee gently as Arizona futilely tried to stop herself from quivering.

"At this time, we'd like to invite our A boarding group line up. We will begin boarding momentarily," the loud speaker sounded. Callie placed a hand in the small of her wife's back, "That's us, if you're ready," she calmly informed her wife, who had made no move to indicate that she had even heard the boarding announcement. Arizona still made not acknowledgement of this development, sitting shaking in her seat, her breathing becoming more rapid. After a moment, as Callie wondered if she should alert her wife again, that maybe she hadn't heard her, Arizona got to her feet and began walking slowly toward the line, Callie at her heals, grabbing the carry-on that her wife had left on her chair.

However, when Arizona had almost reached the line, she stopped abruptly, a strange panicked look crossing her face. Callie was about to reach over and ask her what was wrong, but just as suddenly as she had stopped, Arizona had turned around and was racing in the opposite direction. Callie stood in shock for only a moment before turning and briskly following her wife into the miraculously empty women's restroom, where Arizona headed straight into the accessible stall in the back, kneeling in front of the toilet and vomiting violently. Callie reacted quickly; shutting the stall door behind her and setting their bags down before sitting on the tile floor next to her wife, holding Arizona's hair and rubbing her back she emptied the contents of her stomach into the porcelain bowl before them.

When she'd finished, Arizona wiped her mouth and flushed the toilet, before leaning back against the bathroom wall, placing her head in her hands as she crumpled into sobs. Callie pulled her wife into her arms, holding her tight as her body shook. When her sobs subsided, Callie handed Arizona her water bottle from her bag so she could rinse her mouth. Arizona gratefully took a sip; she had yet to look at her wife.

After a moment, Callie finally spoke up, "Arizona, you're not ready, and that's okay. You don't have to do this today." Arizona looked up at her wife, "But we already bought the tickets—"

"I don't care about the tickets. I care about you," Callie insisted, "Let's just get out of here. We don't have to get on that plane."

Arizona shook her head in defeat, knowing that Callie as right but not ready to admit it quite yet. Tears once again escaped from her eyes, trailing steadily down her cheeks, "I tried so hard. I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean, Meredith was on a plane for an organ harvest months ago—"

"Meredith didn't lose a leg," Callie responded calmly.

"No, Meredith lost a sister," Arizona shot back without missing a beat. Losing a limb had been awful, but losing a sibling was far worse, a judgment Arizona was uniquely qualified to make. Callie sighed; this was, of course, true, but also not the point she was trying to make, "Don't compare yourself to Meredith Grey. She's fearless, stupidly so, what with her clamping onto bombs in body cavities and telling gunmen to shoot her and—"

"It's not just Meredith. Cristina flew back from Minnesota even sooner. It had barely been three months since the crash."

"Yeah, well Yang was _really_ drunk for that flight. Which, by the way, is an option the next time you're ready to consider flying again," Callie joked, managing to pull a slight smile out of her wife. Running a hand tenderly through Arizona's blond hair, Callie continued, "Anyway, it doesn't matter when Meredith or Cristina or gets on a freaking plane. Everyone heals at their own rate. You're allowed to take your time."

Arizona leaned against her wife, closing her eyes and sniffling as the tears continued to fall. "Calliope, we've been through so much this year. And you've been so patient and so supportive, and I… I just wanted to do something for you." Callie's heart broke at her wife's confession, she placed a kiss on her forehead, "Arizona, I promised you in sickness and in health, for better or for worse. Yeah, it's been a hard year, but I'll always be here for you. You don't owe me anything for that."

Arizona nodded, "I know I don't owe you, it was just something I wanted to do. I've been so selfish this year, because I needed to be. I needed to figure out how to put my life back together after the crash. But I miss being able to think about you and do things for you."

Callie shook her head, "We can still have a vacation. We can drive down the coast, stop in Napa and go wine tasting. We'll stay in resorts and have lots of sex. Heck, we can stay here for two weeks and have lots of sex." Callie smiled seductively, "And believe me, _that_ is plenty. You don't have to get on a plane to give me any of that."

A small grin crossed Arizona's features, "I mean, that does sound pretty great." She looked up at Callie, wiping the remaining tears from her face, "So, this is really okay with you? You're not disappointed?" Callie shook her head and smiled genuinely, "Are you kidding me? I'm _so_ okay with this. Now, let's get out of here?" Arizona nodded, but let out a sigh, making no immediate move to get up.

"I'm so embarrassed," she murmured under her breath. Callie placed a kiss on the side of her head, whispering in her ear, "You have nothing to be embarrassed about." But her wife was persistent, "Calliope, I've sobbing on the floor of this bathroom for the past five minutes. Not to mention the puking. Everyone's gonna stare at me when we leave. And then we have to have them take our luggage off the plane. Oh, god…"

"Hey," Callie took Arizona's face in her hands, gently turning it to look her in the eyes, "I'll take care of the luggage. You don't even have to be there. You can go hang out in the gift shop—pick me out a nice 'Welcome to Seattle!' mug. And maybe you can get yourself a toothbrush." Arizona glared playfully at her wife, leaning her head against Callie's shoulder. "And as for the people in this bathroom? If any of them so much as look at you funny, I'll—"

"Calliope," Arizona cut her off calmly, not wanting her wife to start making threats in an airport.

"Do you want me to tell everyone to leave? Because I will. I can just tell them all to go pee somewhere else. There are plenty of other restrooms in this place—"

"Calliope!" Arizona was now laughing. She took a deep breath, looking up at her wife, "I'll be okay." Callie nodded, taking her hand, "You will be," she responded, her voice steady and certain. And with that, Arizona let Callie help her to her feet and guide her from the restroom.


	3. Portland

Callie knocked softly on the door to the on call room before cautiously opening it and quietly slipping into the dimly lit room. Seeing an outline of her wife curled in a ball on the bunk in the darkest corner, she locked the door behind her walked over to Arizona, placing a kiss on her cheek and looking into her eyes, "Hey, I came as soon as I got your page. You okay?" Arizona nodded shakily, "Yeah, will you just hold me for a bit?"

Callie nodded, climbing onto the bed behind her wife and spooning her from behind. Arizona's body felt tense against hers; it took all of Callie's patience and restraint not to immediately ask what had happened. Since getting a 9-1-1 page five minutes ago to an on-call room, Callie had been worried sick. But knowing her wife, she knew that Arizona would tell her when she was ready. And she was right, after a few minutes, Arizona's trembling voice broke the silence, "Karev is leaving."

Callie's heart sunk. Knowing how much Arizona cared for the younger peds surgeon, she knew this news would be devastating for her wife, "Oh, babe. I'm so sorry." She could hear her wife sniffling in her arms and held her tighter, resting her head against Arizona's. She felt Arizona take in a deep breath before continuing, "And I flew on a plane today."

Callie froze, her breath catching in her throat. While for anyone else, this might seem like an inconsequential remark, Callie understood the magnitude this event held for her wife. Since the plane crash more than two years before, Arizona had been too terrified to even set foot inside a plane. She passed any organ recovery onto another surgeon, and neither of them had even mentioned the possibility of a plane ride since a full blown panic attack had prevented them from flying to Los Angeles the year before. And yet, her Arizona was telling Callie she had _flown_ today?

Callie gently rolled her wife to face her, unable to stop a beam from spreading across her face, "Arizona, you flew on a plane?" She ran a hand through her wife's blonde hair, "Honey, that's _amazing_. I mean, _you're_ amazing. This is huge. Arizona, I'm just—"

"Callie…" Arizona whispered, shutting her eyes and biting her lower lip. As Callie looked down at her wife, she could see that Arizona didn't share her joy at this milestone. The smile dropping off her face, Callie began again, "Okay, maybe I jumped the gun a bit there. Walk me through it, babe. What happened?"

Arizona sighed, opening her eyes to look into Callie's concerned gaze, "It was… It happened fast, I hadn't planned on doing it today. I mean, I'd been thinking about it—"

"You had? When?" Callie interjected, bewilderment crossing her face. She knew her wife was a private person, something that Callie, being an open book herself, had trouble grasping. But still, she had expected to be informed of something like this. Arizona nodded in affirmation, "I had been. I mean, I'm a surgeon, and I can't just pass off all my organ retrievals forever. So, I started talking it over with Dr. Wyatt—"

"You didn't tell me that," Callie interrupted again, confusion still present on her face, mixed with frustration and a touch of anger. Arizona gave her a warning look; they had discussed this before. Taking a deep breath, Callie acknowledged, "I know, I'm not entitled to everything you talk about in therapy," she looked at Arizona and responded more vulnerably, "I just thought you might tell me something like that."

Arizona took her wife's hand in hers, the cautionary expression on her face softening, "I was going to, eventually. I just wasn't ready." Callie nodded, accepting her wife's unspoken apology, and squeezed Arizona's hand as an encouragement to continue.

"Then today, all of a sudden, there was this girl open on the table, and we'd just put a new heart in her, but it wasn't working. UNOS located another one in Portland, and before I knew what was happening, I had volunteered to go and get it," Arizona paused, shaking her head, "It was stupid. I wasn't ready. This was something I should have planned. But surgery is so … I just wasn't thinking."

Callie nodded; she certainly understood how the operating room felt. While every decision is loaded, potentially life changing, sometimes you don't have time to think. You just have to take action. "So, what happened?" Callie asked, concern entering her features.

Arizona took in another shuddery breath, her eyes focused steadily on the ceiling above her, "I got on the plane. And it took off, and I just closed my eyes, and tried not to think about it. I was doing the breathing exercises that Dr. Wyatt taught me, but five minutes into the flight, that wasn't working anymore, and I could just feel the panic building…." She stopped, blinking away tears at the recollection, as Callie stroked her hair, waiting patiently for her to continue, "So, I remembered that Dr. Wyatt had suggested distracting myself, or thinking about a good memory on a plane. Well, that made me think of the first organ recovery I did with Karev, so I turned to Alex—"

"Wait, so Alex is on this plane too?" Callie asked, trying to keep track of the details. Arizona gave her a frustrated look and Callie backpedaled, "Sorry, I'll stop interrupting. Keep going."

"So, I start to talk to Alex about the first time we were on a plane together, and he's all like, 'Let's not think about the last time you were on a plane.'" At that detail, Callie visibly cringed, "Jeez get a clue, Karev." Arizona nodded, rolling her eyes, "I know, that was kind of the last thing I needed to hear, so I tried to keep telling my story, but he just jumps right in about how he's doing what's best for him, taking the private practice job, and he doesn't want a lecture from me."

Callie scoffs in disbelief, "I swear to god, that clueless, self-centered prick. I mean, is everything in the world about him? Well, the next time I see him—"

"Calliope," Arizona cut her off gently, "It's okay. He didn't know. And it actually kind of helped. For a moment, I was so freaking annoyed with him that I forgot to be scared." Arizona smiled softly, but quickly looked away, her tone dropping again, "Just for a moment though."

Callie bit her lip, fearing the worst. "What happened next?" she asked her wife cautiously, giving Arizona's hand a squeeze. Arizona closed her eyes and said nothing, which only elevated Callie's concern. "Arizona, did the surgery go okay? Did something happen to you in the operating room? Did—"

"No," Arizona cut her off, snapping her eyes open to look at her wife. "Callie, the recovery went fine, I somehow managed to fly back, we successfully transplanted the heart into the kid. I mean, not the same kid, but—"

"Not the same kid? Babe, slow down, you aren't making any sense," Callie coaxed gently in an attempt to keep Arizona calm, but her efforts were futile, as Arizona sat up in frustration, the bed creaking slightly at her sudden movement, her body beginning to shake as she continued, "Callie, I had no business getting on that plane, and then being in an OR! I was so _scared_. I was… I mean, I just…."

"Hey," Callie sat up next to her wife, placing a comforting hand on her back, "Everything was okay. The transplant was a success. The kid is _okay_ , and _you are okay._ "

But Arizona just continued to shake her head, gripping the sheets tightly beneath her, unable to take in Callie's words. "I couldn't stop shaking," she whispered, unable to meet Callie's eyes, shame coursing through her body. Callie ran a hand through her hair, confusion crossing her features, "What do you mean? In the OR?"

"After," continued Arizona, releasing the sheets and instead playing with the laces of her scrub pants as tears slipped from her eyes, "After the surgery, it was like it all hit me. The plane and the surgery and Alex," her voice cracked on the last word, as she wiped away a couple tears before continuing, "I didn't talk to anyone, I _couldn't_ talk to anyone. So, I came here and I just… I couldn't stop shaking and I couldn't breathe and I was nauseous and I felt like something horrible was going to happen."

Callie tilted her wife's face upward, forcing her to meet her eyes, "Arizona, that sounds like a panic attack. You've survived them before. You're okay now."

"But what if it had happened in the OR?" she shot back, slapping her hands against her crossed legs to emphasize her point, "Callie, that can't happen in an OR. You know it—"

"Yes, but _it didn't_ ," Callie insisted, running another hand soothingly through her wife's blonde locks. "Arizona, you started to panic on the plane, and then what did you do? You used the techniques that Dr. Wyatt taught you to get it under control until you were done operating." A smile crossed Callie's face as she continued, "Sweetheart, I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but today went _well_. You were _awesome_."

Arizona forced herself to smile, but was still unable to look Callie in the eye, "I don't _feel_ awesome. I feel terrible. I feel like I never want to get on another plane ever again."

Callie took her wife into her arms, planting a kiss on her forehead, "It will get easier with time. It won't always be this hard." Arizona sighed into her wife's chest, "You don't know that, Calliope."

"Maybe I don't," Callie admitted, but continued anyway, leaning her back against the wall as she slowly rubbed circles into Arizona's back, "But I know you. I know that _you are awesome_." Against her chest, Callie felt her wife's lips forming into a smile, small but genuine. It solidified the confidence she had in her wife—whether Arizona believed it or not, Callie knew she would be okay.


	4. Miami

"I told you, Callie. I'm not hungry," Arizona snapped from the living room where she stood in front of her open suitcase. She had it sorted through it more than 10 times, comparing it to her neatly organized list, but every time she zipped it shut again, she was overcome with panic that there was something she had forgotten. Callie tried not to take her wife's harsh tone personally—she knew that Arizona was just stressed. And she had every right to be. They were about to fly to Miami for Callie's father's 60th birthday party, which would be by far the longest flight Arizona had been on since the plane crash. It would also be the first flight they were taking with Sofia, and Callie knew that the prospect of her daughter boarding a plane might scare Arizona more than getting on one herself. So, with a defeated sigh, Callie placed the piece of toast she had made for her wife gently on the dining room table, hoping she would change her mind and decide to take a few bites.

Just then, six-year-old Sofia came skipping into the living room, her astronaut barbie grasped tightly in her hand, "Momma, can you play with me?" She asked sweetly, grinning broadly up at her mother, two of her front teeth missing. Arizona forced a smile as she turned back to her daughter, "Not now, Sofia. We have to leave in an hour, and you need to finish packing." Sofia shook her head, "I finished last night, remember?"

"Well, go take the packing list and double check please," Arizona directed, turning her attention back to her own suitcase. But Sofia just frowned, crossing her arms over her chest, "Momma, I _already_ double checked. Twice. We did it together last night—"

"Then do it again! Now!" Arizona shouted, turning to Sofia angrily. To her horror, her daughter's eyes instantly filled with tears, and Arizona's expression immediately softened, "Oh, bug. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to yell—" But Sofia had already dashed off to her room, slamming the door behind her forcefully.

Having watched the scene play out from the kitchen, Callie slowly approached her wife, who was not sitting on the couch, her head in her hands. Cautiously, Callie reached out and placed a hand on Arizona's back. She half expected her wife to shove her away, but Arizona just took in a trembling breath before looking up at her Callie, her eyes filled with tears. "I was terrible," she mumbled shaking her head in shame as a tear slipped down her cheek. Placing a kiss on top of Arizona's head, Callie whispered into her hair, "It's okay. You're stressed—"

"I just yelled at our six year old daughter over a packing list," Arizona mumbled, looking up at her wife incredulously, as if shocked that she wasn't mad at her as well. But Callie just shook her head, "It happens. She'll be okay," Callie said lovingly, taking Arizona's hand in hers and whispering tenderly, "I know how scared you are." Arizona bit her lip, fighting back more tears, "It's silly—"

"It's not silly, and you know it," Callie said firmly. Squeezing her wife's hand one final time, she stood from the couch. "Let me talk to Sofia," Callie offered, and after a moment's pause, Arizona nodded, grateful for the help. "Thank you, Calliope," she whispered, smiling weakly. Callie grinned, and gently teased her wife as she walked over to their daughter's room, "Now, you should probably double check that suitcase again. Don't want to forget anything." And then she ducked to avoid the pillow that Arizona sent sailing her way.

* * *

"Go away!" Sofia screamed through her door in response to the gentle knock. But Callie responded calmly, "I'm coming in, m'ija." After a second's pause, she slowly pushed the door open to see her daughter sitting cross-legged on her bed, clutching her purple stuffed salamander to her chest, her face streaked with tears. She glared at Callie and did not speak as her mother slowly walked over and sat on her bed. The pair sat in silence for a few moments, before Sofia finally broke, grumbling, "I don't _want_ to double check _again_." Callie nodded, reaching over and pushing a hand through her daughter's hair gently as Sofia continued, "Why is she so mad at me?"

Callie moved over next to Sofia, bringing her close to her as she whispered, "Momma's not mad at you, m'ija. She's just stressed about traveling." Sofia's brow furrowed, and she looked up at Callie in confusion, "Why?" With a deep breath, Callie sighed, "You remember that Momma was on a plane crash, right?" Sofia nodded somberly. Her parents had told her about that crash just the year before—she knew it was how her mother lost her leg, and how her father died. Upon her daughter's nod, Callie continued, "Well, since then, your Momma doesn't like riding on planes. She does it sometimes for work, but they are much shorter flights. And she's not flying with you." Sofia's eyes widened, "Momma doesn't want me to come?"

Callie shook her head vigorously, "No, Sofia. Of course your Momma wants you to come. But she just doesn't want anything to happen to you." Sofia seemed unconvinced, "But nothing's gonna happen to me. Momma has been saying that for weeks. 'It's more likely to be struck by lightning 10 times than it is to be on a plane that crashes,'" Sofia parroted, and Callie grinned at her daughter's uncanny impression of Arizona. And yet, she knew what her daughter didn't—that Arizona's therapist had suggested she repeat statistics about the improbability of plane crashes whenever she felt scared. In this sense, Sofia's ability to repeat these statistics word for word indicated just how much this trip frightened Arizona.

Squeezing her daughter tightly against her, she stated simply, "Your Momma is scared because she loves you so much, m'ija." Sofia didn't respond to that; she was still upset, but she knew it was true. Taking her daughter's silence as an opportunity, Callie continued, "So, it would mean a lot to me if you were extra nice to your mother today. Double check you suitcase one more time, and give her a big hug before we leave. I know that would make her feel better."

Sofia's arms were still crossed tightly over her chest, but Callie could tell she was considering what she was asking. Finally, she uncrossed her arms and mumbled, "Fine." Callie placed a kiss gently on her daughter's head, "Thank you, Sof. I love you." And with that, Callie slipped quietly from her daughter's room.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Sofia quietly emerged from her room, rolling her suitcase behind her. Arizona looked up from where she was sitting at the kitchen table, nibbling on the now cold piece of toast Callie had made for her. She smiled warmly at her daughter as she walked up next to her. "I double checked again," Sofia grumbled, looking at her feet. "Thank you, bug. I appreciate that," Arizona said kindly, as her daughter continued to avoid eye contact. Gently, she place a hand under her daughter's chin and guided her face up so that their eyes met. "I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm sorry."

Looking up at her mother, Sofia saw tears hovering on the edge of her blue eyes, and her face immediately softened. She flung her arms around Arizona's neck tightly, who let out a sigh of relief, pulling her daughter into her lap and returning the hug fiercely. "I love you, Momma," Sofia whispered into her mother's neck. Arizona pulled away slightly, holding her daughter's head gently in her hands, "Me too, bug."

Just then, Callie entered from their bedroom, grateful that her daughter had followed her instructions. "Alright, are we all ready to go?" she asked, looking at Arizona meaningfully. Her wife nodded, "Yeah, I'm ready."

* * *

 **A/N: I'm so sorry it's been so long since I've updated this fic, and thanks to everyone still reading! I'm writing one more chapter on this fic, and it will be a companion to The Things I Regret, so if you haven't read that, you might want to before you read the last chapter. Again, thanks for reading!**


	5. Washington DC

**Thank you all for your patience! I'm so sorry it took so long to get this final update posted. This will be the last chapter. If you have not yet read my story The Things I Regret (and don't want spoilers), I would recommend reading that before reading this final chapter.**

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"Well, obviously we have to see the _entire_ Smithsonian, but I'm most excited about the Natural History Museum," Sofia chattered animatedly from her spot on the couch in their living room. Her mothers were reviewing their travel arrangements, and her recently adopted sister Riley was seated in her wheelchair, her nose in a book. The family was taking a trip to Washington DC to celebrate Riley's adoption, and Sofia hadn't stopped talking about the Smithsonian for weeks. "You know, they have an Insect Zoo where they have _live insects_ and you can look at them all up close! And Momma promised she would go for at least a little bit. Right, Momma?"

Arizona rolled her eyes, not looking up from her laptop where she was reading about the accessibility at the airport, "I already said yes, bug. Don't make me change my mind." Callie smiled at her wife, planting a kiss on top of her head. She knew that Arizona did _not_ like bugs, and her willingness to explore the room filled with live insects was a testament to how much she loved their daughter. Sofia continued discussing the details of the trip, before turning to Riley and asking, "Hey, what did you want to see at the Smithsonian again? The American History wing?" But Riley merely shrugged, to which Sofia spoke louder, "Riley?"

When Riley still didn't respond, Sofia jumped up and walked across the room, waving a hand in front of Riley's face. Riley quickly turned to look at her sister, a look of annoyance plastered on her face, "What?" Sofia was taken aback by her aggression, "Jeez, I was just trying to get your attention. It's like you didn't even hear me."

"Sorry," Riley mumbled with a sigh, but turned her attention back to her book. "You okay, m'ija?" Callie asked Riley, concerned about her daughter's behavior. For the past week, Riley had been just as excited as Sofia, but today, she seemed tense and distant. "Yeah, I'm fine," Riley assured Callie, but she could tell that her mother's weren't convinced. Callie continued to look at her in concern and Arizona had set down her laptop and was now gazing at Riley patiently, waiting for her to tell them what was wrong.

After a moment's pause, Riley finally broke, "I'm just nervous about flying, that's all." At that, Sofia just waved her hand dismissively, "Dude, There's nothing to be worried about. You're more likely to get struck by lightning 10 times than be in a plane crash." Riley glared up at her sister, "Easy for your to say."

Thinking she knew what her daughter meant, Callie supplied calmly, "Riley, if you're worried about navigating the airport in the wheelchair, Momma's got that covered. She knows all about accessibility and if anyone gives you any trouble—"

"It's not the wheelchair!" Riley exclaimed, more forcefully than intended, to her family's surprise. Callie pressed gently, "Then what is it, Riley?" When Riley looked down at her lap, Callie felt her wife's hand on her knee and look up to see Arizona signaling silently to let her give it a try. With a nod, Callie turned to Sofia, "Hey Sof, you want to help me finish packing?" Sofia raised an eyebrow, "You need help?" But when Callie gave her a pointed glance, she nodded reluctantly, "Fine."

When Callie and Sofia had left the room, Arizona stood and walked over to where Riley was sitting in her wheelchair and took a seat across from her daughter on the sofa. Gently tilting Riley's head up so that their eyes met, Arizona asked neutrally, "Riley, have you ever been on a plane?"

After a moment's hesitation, Riley shook her head no, bringing her gaze back down to her lap, "My dad and I didn't have a lot of money, so it's not like we took family vacations." Arizona nodded in understanding as Riley continued, "And I know that plane crashes are super unlikely, but I mean… you were in a plane crash, so it's not like they don't happen." Riley finally looked up and met her mother's eyes again, mumbling, "It's stupid—"

"It's _not_ stupid," Arizona stated firmly, "Riley, I'm scared every time I get on a plane." Riley looked up at her incredulously, "You don't seem scared." Arizona smiled softly, "Well, I am. It's okay to be scared, Cricket." Riley shook her head, "Sofia's not scared. And she knows you were in a plane crash too." Brushing Riley's hair from her face, Arizona whispered, "Sofia hasn't suffered a life changing injury from a traumatic accident." Looking at down at her wheelchair, Riley nodded as Arizona continued, "Riley, whether or not you're scared, you are strong and brave. You're a survivor, and you can be proud of that."

After a moment, Riley looked up at Arizona, "Thanks, Momma." Arizona beamed back at her daughter, who was only just beginning to address her as her mother, planting a kiss on top of her head. "I do have a few tips, to be less scared. Pack a big pair of headphones and make a playlist of your favorite songs. Make sure you remember to breathe. Talk to your sister about the exhibits you want to see at the Smithsonian—I know she's gone over them 50 times already, but it's a good distraction. And if you need to, you can always hold my hand." Riley nodded, feeling more confident, "Okay. I can do that."

At that, Arizona stood, "Now, what do you say we go get your mother and sister and make the last of that cookie dough for dessert?" Riley grinned widely, following Arizona into the kitchen.

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 **Thanks so much for reading!**


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